The Bucky Blog

New pics of Jack

2006-02-24T13:07:00.000-08:00

Clare sent a bunch, but these two are definitely my favorites:

Jack and Dad

2006-02-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

What a difference a month makes!

2006-02-06T12:52:00.000-08:00

Here is a shot of Clare, as of January 1, 2006:

And here are Clare and Jackson (the baby formerly known as Bucky), as seen on February 1, 2006:

Bucky's birth day

2006-02-06T12:40:00.001-08:00

January 15, 2006

4:00 AM

Dear Bucky,

My water just broke (and me, all along saying it wouldn't break . . . your Daddy knew better). I guess this means the end of the Bucky show.

I'm not quite ready for you to leave me yet. I was just getting used to this pregnancy thing. I thought I had more time . . . at least two more weeks (guess Ross was correct again on that one as well). I'm going to miss you, and your kicks, and your hiccups, and talking with you.

I don't know if I'm ready to meet you in person . . . to actually be your Mom, not just your "Bucky holder." Are you going to like us? Can we really do this?

But, the doctor just called us back. To the hospital we go . . . I guess today is really the day. Ready or not, here you come . . .

***

5:00 AM

Ross and I arrive at the hospital and get taken to the assessment room. All the tests they do to prove my water broke come up negative, but since my story is "convincing" they decide to bring out the ultrasound equipment and double check.

Nearly all my amniotic fluid is gone, just a little bit left by Bucky's feet . . . baby will be here within 24 hours. I'm confined to bed so as to avoid any infections. Off to the labor and delivery room we go!

"Ross, we're going to have a baby today!"

"I know . . . it's so crazy."

***

8:00 AM

My sister, who just happens to be in town, arrives at the hospital. I've been put on pitocin to get my contractions going and to make sure Bucky arrives within the allotted 24 hr window. I'm very nervous about this since they say contractions are like climbing a mountain, but with pitocin it's like climbing a cliff. Since I haven't been having painful contractions, I figure I won't know the difference in the end . . .

***

Between 10:00 AM and 1:00 PM

Our local friends stop by the room for pre-delivery visits. They bring Ross and Anna food (the kind that doesn't smell so I don't get angry with them for eating since I am no longer allowed food, just ice chips!!!) and we all laughed about how the night before none of us expected THIS!

On the pain chart I was now feeling like a 3 out of 10.

There are too many people in the delivery room, and our friends are all kicked out by the new nurse on call.

***

3:00 PM

We're now at a 6 on the pain chart. Things are progressing nicely, and the doctors will check my in another hour or two.

***

5:00 PM

Holy cow, the contractions are starting to really bear down. The first year resident says it's time to check me out. His assessment is that I've done really well: 8 cm dilated and about 80% effaced, and baby is in minus 1 stage (just above the pelvic bone. The pelvic bone equals 0 stage). Realizing I had yet to receive any drugs at this time he says I need to make a decision soon about getting an epidural. I think to myself, 'the contractions I can handle, but I bet getting a baby out will be worse than that painful exam . . . what to do.' Then the delivering OB comes in to just take a look herself, and it's revealed that I'm ONLY 4cm dilated, but 100% effaced and baby is in plus 2 stage (past the pelvic bone and into the birth canal).

I lose it, thinking that was the cruelest joke to ever play on a woman in labor and have no qualms about deciding I'm getting that epidural---my energy just flew out the window with the truth of the situation.

***

5:30 PM

9! 9! 9! I've hit the cliff wall. Contractions are tremendous. No wonder people never want to do this again.

The anesthesiologist arrives and I can't even pay attention to his "risks involved" speech.

JUST GIVE ME THE SHOT!

Which he does.

Luckily the doctor allows Ross to stay in the room and I hold on to his arm with both hands. Squeezing one hand for contractions, and one hand for the epidural discomfort.

***

6:00 PM

And then a calm. My lower half is numb. I can not control my legs and it's an eye opening experience . . . My mind uses this new situation help comfort me; to remind me that there are people in this world who live more challenging lives than I do, who have a great deal more strength than I do, and that I'm just trying to deliver a baby. It was a strange correlation to make in the midst of things, but it added beauty and serenity to the situation, and humbled me.

***

6:45 to 9:45 PM

It's time to push. My sister and the nurse hold my legs. Ross counts for me through the contractions. We all actually laugh and joke throughout the hours of delivery.

Somewhere along the road "c-section" floats out of the lips of the resident . . . it inspires me to push harder (and the nurse reassures Ross that we're not even close to making that decision).

Towards the end a different decision has to be made, to use a vacuum or see if I can do it on my own. Bucky is face up, making passing his head through the last bit very difficult as it's the hard part of the skull, not the soft spot that is presented on face down babies. I push a few more times and we make the decision to use the vacuum. I'm tiring out, Bucky is kicking me (seriously) and getting a little stressed . . . it's time to receive a little help.

***

9:46 PM

With one last push and a pull with the vacuum, a feeling of relief comes over me . . .

***

9:47 PM

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!

Tears all round . . . it's very overwhelming, we're in disbelief . . . we're parents!

They put Baby Boy Swanes to my chest and Ross and I gaze at our newborn son. New Aunt Anna cuts the umbilical cord. . .

"What's his name?"

"We don't know," I cry. . .

***

10:30ish PM

Dear Jackson Henry,

Welcome to the world! We've been waiting for you!

Do you like your name? Besides our love, it's the very first gift we give to you on your birth day.

We can't believe you're here! You're just so beautiful, so perfect. Our hearts are bursting!

You're worth every moment of pregnancy, every push in delivery . . . I'd do it all over again, again and again, just for you.

And, as passed down from generation to generation on your Daddy's side, to you we quote Rudyard Kipling's IF:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

With so much love, we couldn't even have imagined it,
we are so overjoyed that you're here,
and we are so proud to be your
Mom & Dad

Here he is!

2006-01-18T15:20:00.000-08:00

It's Bucky! Er, Jackson. After all these months we finally get to see him. He's such a cutie! Look at those pink cheeks. Cute, cute, cute!

Here's a shot of Jackson, the new momma, and Aunt Anna.

Thanks to Mary for the photos.

Bucky's new name

2006-01-18T14:23:00.000-08:00

He's not just Bucky anymore -- he's now officially Jackson Henry. Clare says that he weighs seven pounds and twelve ounces, and is 19 3/4 inches long.

A photo should be coming soon!

Bucky has arrived!

2006-01-15T22:57:00.000-08:00

Ross called me just after 7:00 pm (PST) to tell me that he is a dad. He said he has a son and that both Clare and the baby were doing great, though everyone seemed a little bit exhausted.

Clare said she was going on adrenaline, and she expected that as soon as they took Bucky to the nursery she would fall asleep instantly. She sounded happy and very emotional as she told me how loud Bucky was when he made his big entrance. While we talked on the phone she was holding him. He wasn't crying -- she said he was just looking at her, scoping out the situation.

We all have to keep waiting for a name. Ross said they're still discussing it and Clare said she wanted some time to look at him and figure out who he is. Like it or not, this kid is going to be known by "Bucky" for at least a little bit longer. Some of us might have troubles switching to anything else, anyway.

I was so excited that I forgot to ask anything about how much Bucky weighs or how big he is. After a long day of nervous waiting, I was just thrilled to hear that he made it, and preoccupied with the sound of awe in Clare's voice. I hope it's not too long before I get to see Bucky and his parents in person.

Progress Report

2006-01-15T14:05:00.000-08:00

I spoke with Clare around 11:30 am (PST), when she was having fairly strong contractions. It sounded like it hurt and she described it as feeling like really harsh cramps.

Ross just called to say that the doctors have given Clare an epidural. The contractions were getting very painful and more frequent and he said Clare is super tough, but he thought she held out longer than she needed to. Now they're working on taking it easy and trying to rest before the big action hits. Clare is five centimeters dilated and fully effaced.

Ross also said that Bucky is doing great. Bucky's heart rate is at normal levels and the baby is in the right place in the birth canal. Right now, the doctors are expecting Bucky to make an appearance any time between 8:00 pm and midnight, EST.

Breaking news: Bucky on the way!

2006-01-15T11:33:00.000-08:00

Clare called me from the hospital this morning, just before 6:00 am (PST). She said that she had gotten out of bed a little before 5:00 am (EST) to go to the bathroom, but just as she made it into the bathroom her water broke. It's fifteen days before Bucky's due date, but many of us had suspected that Bucky would show up a little early.

Clare and Ross are pretty much hanging out, waiting. Her body is not quite ready to actually have the baby yet, but they wanted her to wait at hospital since there is less chance of infection there. She said they have her in bed and all is well.

As the day wears on, I'll update The Bucky Blog with any news I get. I'll also be racing to post back blog entries that haven't made it up, yet.

Get ready world! Here comes Bucky!

Always dreaming

2006-01-15T11:24:00.000-08:00

"Nearly every night I have baby dreams. These ones aren't as exciting as my crazy early pregnancy dreams. I actually have multiple dreams each night, given to the fact that I'm waking up at least two times a night (getting ready for those midnight feedings, maybe). The good thing is that when I return to bed I pretty much fall right back to sleep. I do find that I'm falling asleep a lot faster now that I'm pregnant than I ever have before. I guess my body is just making sure I get enough rest.

My dreams are very realistic, yet somewhat unmemorable. Usually it's just interacting with the baby, who is completely genderless. I think since we really have no idea if the baby is going to be a boy or a girl, my subconscious doesn't even try to guess any more. I'm sorry there won't be any more entertaining pregnancy dreams for The Bucky Blog. But, that's alright by me, some of them really stressed me out."
--Clare, 1/9/06

The latest dream

2006-01-15T11:20:00.000-08:00

"This one is short: I was playing soccer when I had to deliver the baby. The doctors (who just happen to be on the field) delivered the baby a la C-section, slowly going through the layers and pulling out the head, the shoulders and then the whole baby. But, the baby boy was delivered from my head!!!!

Once I had him in my arms, I couldn't stop crying. I was a little confused as to how he came out of my head, a little scared that I now had a boy, and very happy that my baby was healthy and beautiful.

I think my babies in my dream are still 50/50 as far as gender... old wives tales aren't helping me there."
--Clare, 11/20/05

Mary's dream

2006-01-15T11:12:00.000-08:00

"I think our friend Mary's dream is better:

'Okay, so I'm in Boston this weekend crashing on my friends couch and I had a dream about Bucky last night... there were a lot of other things going on, but basically you were pregnant and found out that you were going to have a girl when you had your ultrasound. The amazing thing was that the ultrasound was not the typical black and white thing, it was a color picture of a nine month old, and your baby had the curliest red (I mean bright Irish red) hair and was pale with freckles... not what I was expecting with the combination of you and Ross!'

I am Irish (well, like 1/16th) and I do have redheads in my family (but all are in-laws). As for curly hair, that's next to impossible. So really, this dream is as close to a pale curly red-head as we're going to get, unless Ross's family isn't telling me something."
--Clare, 10/20/05

Delivery dreams

2006-01-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

"Awhile back I had a very realistic dream, to a point, about the upcoming delivery. I think as the day draws nearer my dreams will focus more on delivery than on the actual baby, as my other dreams have.

This one was in current time. I was six months pregnant but delivering early. We were at the hospital and it was the most painful thing to me. I actually remember the pain. I tried and tired to push, but there seemed to be a point where no matter what I did I just couldn't push hard enough for delivery to begin.

All the doctors and Ross wanted to me to get an epidural (the drug given to women in labor, via a shot in the lower back) to ease my pain. I objected at first but finally gave in. As soon as the drug was administered, my head grew all swimmy and I felt sick, but the pain subsided. It seemed to have done the trick, however, because I then delivered twin girls (I can't get away from multiples in my dreams). In the dream they had names, but when I woke up I couldn't remember them.

Seeing as we weren't prepared for twins, much less having our babies three months early, we didn't have anything. No cribs, no car seats, no strollers. Either they let us leave the hospital with the babies or the hospital had a store in it, because the next part of the dream had us shopping for car seats and baby carriers. Also by this time there was on only one baby girl, so I'm not sure what happened to the other.

We found a great seat that was the baby-carrier version of those old yellow and red plastic cars kids would play in at Spicers or at a five and dime store -- red car, doors that open, yellow bubbly roof -- you know the one. However, this carrier was pink and purple, and for some reason we were thrilled with it, plastic-ness and all.

I think my subconscious realized that a pink and purple plastic baby carrier was just wrong and to prevent me from buying any other great finds. I woke up."
--Clare. 10/20/05

Syrupy sweet

2006-01-15T10:53:00.000-08:00

"I had my doctors appointment to check for gestational diabetes. This is done by drinking an ultrasweet, not quite carbonated, orange soda-like drink. Then one hour later blood is taken to see what the blood glucose level is.

The first sip isn't bad. I thought, what's the deal with everyone complaining about this test? Then you have to keep drinking, and with every sip the syrupy-liquid gets harder and harder to take. A slight residue and aftertaste form, which gave me a little bit of a headache. Plus, it ended up being more carbonated than I thought and made me really burpy. To pass the hour I had to wait after drinking the stuff, I had my regular doctors appointment.

My weight and Bucky's growth were approved at this appointment -- all is going well. The funny thing was that Bucky was being so active that the doctor had a hard time getting a good heartbeat measurement. Bucky finally stopped rolling around long enough for her to determine that everything looked good. She also remarked, 'That is one active baby!' This appointment also marked the beginning of the regular two week visits (versus the once a month visits that I had been having up until now).

My glucose results arrived the next day: normal. Phew! However, I apparently have mild anemia. To combat this I have to take another once-a-day pill, Vitron C, along with my prenatal vitamins. It's nothing to get excited about, and now that I'm taking the pills and going to the doctor every two weeks it will be looked after properly. I think we've started the end of this journey just fine. There's still more to come, including life with a newborn, but for now, all is on target."
--Clare, 11/10/05

Useful trivia from birthing class

2006-01-15T10:31:00.000-08:00

"Well, it's here. The third trimester. Twelve weeks to go, three months, 80 some-odd days. To celebrate the occasion Ross and I attended the child birthing classes our hospital provides.

On both Saturday and Sunday we, along with a number of other expectant parents -- some expecting any day, others like us with a few months to go -- learned all about labor, delivery, breathing and relaxing techniques (which were very close to those I've learned in yoga class), infant CPR, childcare (such as bathing and swaddling), a breastfeeding class for me, and a fatherhood class for Ross.

There were many interesting things that we learned, too many to share, but here are a few that I thought others would find useful little tidbits of knowledge (in case it comes up in pregnancy Trivial Pursuit or something):

Hemorrhoids are actually varicose veins.

Smoking crack will cause the placenta to separate from the uterus before the baby is born and will result in an emergency C-section (with hopefully a healthy baby).

Milk proteins do not break down in the mothers body, thus it is best to not over do it on dairy (specifically milk) when breastfeeding.

It takes only five minutes to extract a baby by C-section, but 45 minutes to stitch mom up (five layers of tissue/muscles), and 6 weeks for the wound to heal. Ouch!

An epidural can actually slow down a delivery.

A woman in labor is allowed only clear liquids like ice chips, popsicles, juices, and sometimes soda."
--Clare, 11/10/06

The third trimester gets rough

2006-01-15T10:20:00.000-08:00

"Many 'problems' return with the third trimester: pressure on the bladder, the need for smaller and more frequent meals, difficult sleeping... plus some new issues arise. This is from Babyfit.com:

'Once you are in your third trimester, even if you were a marathon runner and in the best cardio shape of your life, you may experience some shortness of breath after taking only a couple of steps. Stay calm -- even the fittest women feel this symptom of pregnancy and it is not due to what kind of shape you are in. It is a fact that by the time you reach your 36th week, your uterus has expanded to about 1,000 times its normal size. Logically, this gives the rest of your organs, including your lungs, less room to move. So the shortness of breath you may be experiencing is likely due to the overcrowded conditions inside your body. The best you can do is to maintain good posture and know that some relief will come when the baby drops down into the birth canal.'

Now I have been experiencing this shortness of breath for a few weeks, and it's not a whole lot of fun. The worst is when I'm trying to tell a story I'm excited about, which really takes my breath away from me. My co-worker noticed it and said, 'The first thing I noticed after my daughter was born was that I could breathe deeply. I didn't realize how restricted my breathing had gotten until the pressure was gone.' And she ran everyday until the birth of her first child!

Also, they say 'relief will come when the baby drops' and so I asked my mom when my siblings and I dropped before birth. 'You all didn't drop,' was the response I got. Oh, no! I wonder if that tendency has been passed on to me as well as the lack of stretch marks?"
--Clare, 12/12/05

Editor's note: I've been posting some backed-up blog entries from Clare. Bucky did drop earlier this week.

Well, that's handy

2006-01-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

From WhattoExpectWhenYoureExpecting.com:

"Did you know that the measurement in centimeters from the top of your pubic bone to the top of your uterus is roughly equivalent to the number of weeks of pregnancy? It's an easy way to remember how far along you are (as if you'd ever lose track)."

The first of many fun games with Aunt Anna

2006-01-15T10:05:00.000-08:00

"The last visit to my family didn't allow for a lot of bonding time with my sister (she had to study for her med school exams), so Christmas allowed us to spend some quality time -- just the 2.5 of us.

The best part of that time was the new game Anna played with Bucky: find the foot. Quite simple really, where is Bucky's foot now, and what is it doing? Since Bucky is head down, we pretty much know the feet and legs are located under (or on) my right lung, but the fun part of the game was to see if she could get Bucky to react to her pressing in that general area.

Anna: Press, press, pause with hand on belly.

Bucky: Kick, kick, kick. Sometimes a big round-house leg sweep, even!

Sometimes Bucky would start the game, poking his/her little foot out until Anna would pat it and push it back in.

What a fun game! I just sat back and let myself be prodded because I loved having my sister play with Bucky. It means a lot to me to have her so interested and involved in this little one, even before he/she's here with us in the outside world."
--Clare, 12/29/05

That light is getting brighter

2006-01-13T11:04:00.000-08:00

"The one at the end of this pregnancy tunnel that is. Seventeen days to go, and here is the latest from yesterday's doctors visit:

I am still measuring on target. When I say measuring, I mean literally. They're not sure who figured it out, but a pregnant woman's belly measurement in centimeters corresponds to her weeks of gestation. Pretty convenient. I was measuring around 37/38 centimeters... right on target. My doctor also said that we would be having a "nice sized baby." I'm assuming this means over eight pounds, since most of what I read indicates that the current acceptable average weight of a baby is 7.5 to eight pounds. Let's hope Bucky isn't too much bigger than that!

I've dropped. Yesterday my co-worker followed me into my office after I passed hers and said, "I think you've dropped. You walked by and I thought, whoa... that's different. Yup, I think you've dropped." The word made it's way around the office, and most of the mothers in my office agreed -- I've dropped. This was then confirmed by my doctor who said, "Yes, the head is MUCH lower now, you're 80 percent effaced."

When a woman delivers she has to be 100 percent effaced, meaning the cervix is completely thinned out, but being 100 percent doesn't mean one is going into labor. One needs to be dilated AND effaced. A woman can go into labor at any percentage of effacement, but need 100 percent for the baby to exit the womb. However, the lower percentage means a more likelihood that you will have to be induced. One can be four centimeters dilated but only 50 percent effaced and, depending on how far past her due date, might be induced.

I wasn't too pleased to learn that my health care provider tends to induce women only one week after her due date, as opposed to the typical two weeks that most doctors and health providers allow after the due date. But maybe my high percentage means I will deliver early (or on time) and naturally.

It seems that each visit almost serves as a premonition. After the last two visits, the doctor I've seen will ask a question to which the answer is no. Then, as soon as I leave whatever was asked comes to pass. This time it was about my contractions. Though still of the Braxton Hicks variety they are no longer painless. Humph. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I have been one lucky woman with this pregnancy!

I'm not sure if I'm ready for this change, though Ross is very ready for baby to arrive. He spoke with Bucky the other day saying, 'You can come out now, I want to hold you.' Again, I can't wait for the arrival, but I'm not sure I'll be ready until maybe the middle of next week... but that light, the light is getting brighter!"
--Clare, 1/13/06

What can Brown do for you?

2006-01-13T10:53:00.000-08:00

"Brown can put a smile on my face.

Ross received a package yesterday. I was home to sign for it. When I opened the door, the UPS driver exclaimed, 'Whoa!'

'Yes . . .' I replied with a slight smirk, waiting to see where this was going to go.

'When are you due?' He asked very kindly.

'Two weeks.'

'I don't know if you'll last that long. My wife delivered a month early, and well, you know how prepared we were for THAT!' he chuckled good-naturedly.

After I signed for the package, he wouldn't let me take it from him. Instead he said, 'Oh, no. I've got it. It's a little heavy.' And brought it into the house for me, bid me farewell and good luck, and left me smiling. What a nice guy! Thank you Mr. UPS Man, kindness does make the world a happier place."
--Clare, 1/13/06

The airport: a breeding ground for pregnancy comments

2006-01-10T17:37:00.000-08:00

"Ross and I have made our final airplane trip of the pregnancy. Ross is relieved. He is convinced this baby is going to come early. I, on the other hand, still think it's going to be a late delivery. Regardless, all flights went well; Bucky didn't have any bad reactions to the cabin pressure.

When one is pregnant, one should be expected for random comments about one's growing belly, due date, how one is carrying, etc. I didn't expect the majority of these comments to come from airport and airline employees!

Encounter 1: I went to find a cheesy magazine to keep my mind occupied during the flight out for Thanksgiving. I'm standing a few feet from the magazine racks because a woman is replacing the depleted supplies. She turns around, almost directly into me, and stops. With eyes lit up, she asks 'When are you due?' AND POKES BUCKY! Yes, she actually poked me in the belly. But what was really weird about it is that it was such a kind poke, if there ever could be one.

It took me a second to gather my wits, and when I said the end of January, her reply was 'Oh, how wonderful!' Then she gave me a big smile and went about the rest of her job. I was so dumbfounded I left without getting myself a magazine.

Encounter 2: On the flight out for Thanksgiving, not the hours after the poking incident, I received my second comment. This one was on the more obnoxious side.

Pregnant women are more prone to dry skin, and with the expanding of the belly skin there is more itching than normal. I keep well moisturized, but some shirts that I wear just irritate my belly anyway. I happened to be wearing one such shirt on this flight.

I'm innocently scratching my belly (over the shirt, I am in public after all) when the flight attendant leans down and hoarsely rasps, 'Scratching will give you stretch marks!' and walks off. I was shocked! This encounter was startling, and her tone was quite reprimanding.

I thought to myself, 'I'll have you know, Ms. Flight Attendant, that I do NOT have any stretch marks. And I'll thank you to keep your advice to yourself!'

Encounter 3: Going through the security screening for the flight for my cousin's wedding I was asked by the gentleman on the other side of the metal detector. 'When are you due?' His voice sounded very concerned.

When I mentioned the end of January, he seemed quite relieved and replied with, 'That's wonderful, congratulations.'

I'm not sure if he asked because of airport regulations on how late a pregnant woman can travel, or if he thought I was really big and was hoping that I wasn't only six months along or something."
--Clare, 12/29/05

An unscientific, but interesting, study

2006-01-10T16:49:00.000-08:00

"As I prepare for the upcoming labor, delivery, parenting, and nurturing of another human, I thought it would be interesting to learn a little from my friends who have recently gone through this experience. I sent out an email to my new-mom friends containing three questions. The questions, and my friends responses, are listed below.

1. In the womb vs now: Did your baby's activity in the womb give an accurate portrayal of their natural temperament? As in, the baby who kicked a lot is now a very active child, and the baby who only fluttered about is mild mannered...

Dorothy, mother of Katie, July 30, 2004: 'One woman I know who has an absolute whirlwind of a child (girl), reports that her baby was never still in utero. She says it felt as if the baby was doing laps. And now, this child is never still. As for Katie, she didn't move that much, and she is very mild-mannered, easy and sweet. So I think there may be some correlation.'

Cece, mother of Memphis, Apr 1, 2002; Pregnant again due Feb 14 2006: 'Memphis was VERY active in utero and continues to be very active! She also had a tendency to wake up and move around at 2 am while I was pregnant, and this behavior continues. She would wake up every morning at 2 am to nurse (that lasted about a year) and will still (at age three-and-a-half!) get out of her bed and come into our room around the same time. I'm anticipating that Grayson's current in utero activity will be indicative of his post-delivery schedule (mother's intuition).'

Nichole, mother of Sophie, Jan 2004: 'Not sure since I don't have much to compare her to. Sophie was probably pretty laid back in the womb and definitely is now. She would wake me up in the middle of the night with her kicks, which she continues to do!'

Maija, mother of Boden, Sept, 2005: 'Boden was very much like he is now -- very restful sometimes, and then very active. He is never really in the middle.'

2. Are delivery dates hereditary: Did you deliver early, late or on your actual due date? Did this follow the trend your own mother had with her children? Would you suspect if you are/were to have more children that you would again deliver early, late, on time?

Dorothy: 'I can't answer that fully. We were all early. Sean and his sister were both pretty close to their due dates. Katie was nine days late. Our childbirth class teacher says that first pregnancies are typically 41 weeks long. Subsequent ones are a little shorter.'

Cece: 'Memphis was born exactly two weeks before her due date (April 1 vs. April 15). However, when I did my own calculations, I was pretty sure the doctor was off and that she would be born closer to the end of March. I was right (mother's intuition, again). However, I don't think this was hereditary. I was overdue, and I believe Rohrk was right on time. I anticipate that Grayson will be born right on time.'

Nichole: 'We were two weeks early, and our doc had warned us about a month or month and a half before that that we'd probably be early. I'm guessing I'll be early next time too. My mom was right on time or a little late with all three of us, I think. She was induced with my sister Heidi, but Anja and I started the process on our own.'

Maija: 'My sister and mom both delivered before their due dates, not late. I was two weeks late and had to be induced. The next time they won't let me go past my due date because Boden was so big.'

3. Gender trends: Of the people you know who are pregnant now, do you suspect they will have boys or girls (or did you suspect correctly before they found out via ultrasound)? Was your intuition correct about the gender of your own child? Is there a way you can explain what made you think the baby was one gender or another (even if you ended up being wrong)?

Dorothy: 'I had a feeling it would be a boy. It may be because I was hoping ever so slightly for a girl, so I was thinking "boy" so I would be prepared. I know I would have loved a boy just as much. Sean always thought we were having a girl. I've never had much intuition about what other people were having. One [high school] classmate at my reunion told me she was sure I would have a boy, and she said she's never been wrong. A coworker who has also never been wrong thought I would have a girl. Based on how I was carrying, I thought boy. However, my friend who was pregnant at the same time I was, who had her baby two weeks before I did, also had a girl, and we couldn't have looked more different when we were pregnant.'

Cece: 'I have been accurate on all accounts when guessing the gender of other people's babies, as well as my own! I think I even told you that I guessed Britney Spears would have a boy, and she did, and I don't even know her. I get a "vibe" from the pregnant women around me -- and I envision the mother and baby in my head. Honestly, I haven't been wrong yet! (Clare, I always envision you with a boy!) I had dreams about the gender of both my babies. I was convinced and prepared to have a girl with Memphis, and when I found out (at seven months) that she was a girl, I wasn't at all surprised. With this baby, I dreamt right away (even before it was confirmed that I was pregnant) that I had a baby boy, and that was confirmed my ultrasound, too. Mother's intuition, yet again!'

Nichole: 'When I was pregnant, there were seven of us [at work] expecting, and one of my co-workers guessed the gender of six of us correctly. She based it on the heartbeat. And the one she got wrong she guessed was a girl, but the heartbeat reading she had was earlier than you usually get those, so that's what she claims threw her off. She said lower than 120 means boy, over 160 means girl and 140 it's anybody's guess. We asked our doc and he said that using that method, you have a 51 percent chance of guessing right. So that's better than 50/50! I thought Sophie was a girl right up until the day we were going in to find out. Then, looking back, I think I might have been trying to prepare myself so I wouldn't be disappointed if it was a boy. I've never really been around little boys, so I was scared of having a boy.'

Maija: 'I felt all along that it was going to be a boy -- I've thought since I was about ten that I would have two boys -- we'll see on the next one. I just felt like I was meant to have a boy. It wasn't necessarily how I felt while I was pregnant -- just what I felt on intuition. If I had to guess what you will have Clare, I would guess that it's going to be a girl.'

I found these replies to be incredibly interesting. If I were to base our future on them I can only confidently say that I know that Bucky will be a very active child.

As I've mentioned before Ross and I think differently about when Bucky will arrive, and I guess we'll just have to wait and see on that one.

And as far as if Bucky will be a boy or girl, I originally thought girl, then decided to think boy so I would be prepared for either. Ross and I refer to Bucky as 'he,' but Ross thinks we're actually going to have a girl.Of our friends and co-workers, it's pretty much split down the middle as to Bucky's gender.

What do you all think, dear readers? We'd love to hear. My proposed due date is January 30, my mom delivered late with all of us (two girls, one boy) and Ross's mom delivered early with all of hers (two boys, one girl). What day you think Bucky will arrive, and will we have a Buck or Buckette?!

Grand Prize will be the glory of knowing you were right... isn't that enough?"
--Clare, 1/3/06

The ninth month

2006-01-05T11:27:00.000-08:00

"So far it's come on like a Mac Truck.

I'm much more tired. If I don't rest for most of the day I have a terrible night's sleep. And it's only the fifth day of this month.

My feet began to swell a little a few weeks ago (nothing noticeable to the public, but I can feel the difference and my doctors can see a slight difference). Now my hands have joined in the "fun." I do not think it's fun. The joints of my fingers and knuckles ache. My rings are extremely tight, so much so that I'm in the process of trying to pry them off my fingers. I'm down to one ring, my wedding band, but I think I have to give that finger a little break before I pry it off. Despite all the cold water and soap I'm using to shrink and slime it up, I think it was abused too much by my attempts to get my engagement ring off. It took about ten minutes. Seriously. Others may not notice the difference (I have little hands) but I sure do...

There will be lots of other exciting changes coming on this month, too, like contractions -- false or of the actual labor variety. The end is near!"
--Clare, 1/5/06

Have you gotten any baby things so far?

2005-12-21T15:03:00.000-08:00

"Yes. Most of what we have has been given to us by family and friends. Little sleepers, blankets, tees, onesies, a book, and stuffed animals. Our trip to Babies R Us also got us started with the "gear." With the holidays I think our supply will grow greatly. Baby stuff is just too cute to pass up.

Speaking of cute, Ross bought some new born diapers, just to be prepared. The package is the size of a large loaf of bread, but it contains 40 diapers. They're so tiny! However that's probably only a four day supply."
--Clare 10/27/05

Adventures at Babies R Us

2005-12-21T14:54:00.000-08:00

"For my birthday a friend sent me some Babies R Us coupons to help get us started in our baby-gear buying. There are so many things we could buy: crib, changing table, dresser, rocking chair/glider, travel play yard, activity mat, bouncy seat, baby carrier, stroller, car seat, sling, diaper bag, clothing, bedding, towels, blankets, diapers, baby wipes, baby wipe warmer... the list is literally endless. Anything you can think of is available for purchase, and in the end you probably only need a fifth of it.

It was recommended to us that we "try not to go crazy in Babies R Us. Do not buy everything in sight. Try to leave after an hour. Do not stay past two hours. You will have a meltdown." I think this advice was right on the money.

We innocently walked into the store, oohing and ahhing over the new babies out shopping with their parents, and at the other parents-to-be perusing the aisles. There is a lot of hand-holding and a lot of wistful looks going on in this store. What a happy place to be! Until you begin the searching process. We were not prepared; we had not done our homework.

Clothing was in the center, surrounded on either side by furniture pieces and toys. We were there to purchase furniture items, and decided to stay on that side of the store only. Maija, Jeremy, and Baby Boden are coming out for a visit late November and we wanted to provide some sleeping and playing things so they wouldn't have to bring so much out with them.

There were so many brands to look at and pick between: Graco, Britax, Maclaren, Peg Perego, EvenFlow, FisherPrice... and that's just skimming the surface. We really must have looked like deer in headlights, because a very kindhearted mother of two stopped us. "I don't mean to intrude but can I offer you some advice?" she sweetly asked.

It was then that we got our first on-site tutorial in baby item shopping. 1) Play with everything. Take it off the shelf and see what it does. Abuse it because that's the type of punishment it's going to get. 2) Use your children as guinea pigs (she correctly gathered that this was our first so this advice didn't really help us this time around, but is good advice none-the-less). 3) Think realistically about what you really need because you won't use half the gadgets you come home with after the first few months.

She was very helpful, and I wish I had gotten her name and address so I could send her a card telling her so. Her advice also scored me some points with Ross because she reiterated, more clearly, some of the thoughts I had brought up to him about what we'll need or not need. Ross scored some points as well, by picking out a very cool bouncer that this woman said was the best of the bunch. If only we'd have a little helper like this woman with us all the time, we'd feel like the smartest parents-to-be ever!

We left the store with lots of ideas, a few items to be tested out by Boden during his visit, and a discounted price thanks to the coupons. It was grueling, and I'm nervous about looking for the bigger ticket items (cribs and such) but next time we'll do our homework and will be more eager to tap veteran parents on the shoulder for some advice."
--Clare, 10/25/05

Catching up

2005-12-21T14:36:00.000-08:00

Here's a posting that Clare wrote after her birthday, in early October:

"I am another year older.

When I was a little girl I didn't dream of my wedding, I dreamt of the kids I would have. I thought I would be having them sooner, but life has a funny way of unfolding before you exactly how it's supposed to. I'm very happy that I'm going to be a mother now, and not at a younger age.

This, my last non-mom birthday, was wonderful. My mom and Jim were in town for a conference so I was able to celebrate with them, as well as with my local friends and loving husband. It's so much fun being showered with love, by those whom you love. Just when I thought it couldn't be any better, I received a birthday surprise.

The phones at work went out unexpectedly, resulting in a small gathering at the front office. Just then, a delivery happened to arrive -- for me! I blushed, and excitedly opened the box in front of everyone.

Inside was a little bonsai plant in a very cool planter. The surprise got even better when I read the card:

"Happy Birthday. -- Bucky."

This child is amazing! Ordering a gift for me while still in the womb is a feat beyond comparison."

Busy week for Bucky

2005-12-19T15:52:00.000-08:00

Here's what Babyfit.com says that Bucky and Clare are working on this week:

"From this point on your baby has the level of development necessary to survive outside the womb. The baby's eyes are opening and closing in conjunction with its activity and resting periods. The eyes are nearly fully developed but will require a few weeks exposure to light to complete the pigmentation process. Over the final weeks of pregnancy, in anticipation of blood loss with the birthing process, your blood volume will add 2-4 pounds of weight to your body.

Other changes that are happening:
The baby is developing its own immune system to fight mild infections.
The baby's fingernails will reach the end of the finger tips this week.

Baby's Size and Weight this week:
Size: 12.75 inches (head to rump)
19.75 inches (head to toes)
Weight: 5 lbs"

Hefty baby

2005-12-19T15:43:00.000-08:00

"Someone recently asked me if Bucky feels heavy.

Well, no, not exactly. The only times I really notice the belly weight is when 1) I'm getting out of bed (or switching the side I'm sleeping on) and 2) getting out of the pool.

Bucky is a little over three pounds now and happily floating around in amniotic fluid. (Ross likes to sing songs about it to Bucky, and Bucky flutters in reply, thus my belief that the floating is indeed happy.)

When I'm standing or sitting I don't really notice the extra front weight that my back and legs are supporting. But when I get off the bed, and step onto the floor putting that weight back onto my back and legs again, it is a bit of a rude awakening. Especially if I'm still really tired. It does go away once my stiff joints work themselves out.

Lisa and I have found that while our pool time is still completely enjoyable, (as we walked pool side in our matching suits, someone even asked us if we planned to both get pregnant at the same time) we fear getting out of of the water. Water is wonderful, gives you the feeling of weightlessness that just soothes aching muscles and joints. That first step onto the ladder, however, feels like you've gained 75 pounds all at once. Our poor legs, already weak with all the kicking, shake under the weight until we sit down to dry off and replenish our fluids.

The one thing that might make it seem like pregnant women feel the weight of their baby is that, as Lisa put it during one yoga class, our bodies are no longer ours. These are not the bodies we once had that could bend over, reach up, climb stairs, stand up, sit down, fight! fight! fight! with ease. They've become foreign to us. And sometimes our brains forget that fact. Getting up off the couch to walk up the stairs has me puffing by the time I reach the second floor, not because of the weight, but because my body takes longer to realign itself and there are aching muscles I didn't know existed.

In addition, hips and ligaments loosen up during pregnancy, so we pregnant ladies tend to walk funny as well. We do feel weightier in general, but I would say that I don't feel Bucky any more than I do the rest of my body's weight."
--Clare, 12/2/05

Clare on December 1

2005-12-18T14:25:00.000-08:00

It was actually December 2, but close enough. December 1 was the "T minus 60 days" mark for Clare and Bucky:

The Bucky Blog suffered a bit due to finals, but watch this space for many postings in the coming days!

How are you choosing names?

2005-11-14T00:12:00.000-08:00

"Ross and I already knew our girl name even before we found out I was pregnant. That one was easy (we even have a back up name, just in case the first doesn't fit). Choosing a boy's name has proven much harder. In general we're looking to family and traditional names, but may have to expand that spectrum if we're to agree on a boy's name.

Picking a name is a lot more emotional and powerful than either of us expected. We have decided to keep all the options under wraps because we have heard many a story of parents-to-be sharing the name of their future child and then getting a rash of responses like, "you can't name her that!" or, "so you do love Uncle Tommy better than me?" or, "ugh, I had a teacher named Jane that I just hated," and so forth. Also uncomfortable for some parents was when friends and family would refer to the baby by his future name before birth. I hear it can feel somewhat ominous when that happens."
--Clare, 10/27/05

Family time

2005-11-13T23:50:00.000-08:00

"The hardest thing Ross and I have had to deal with in this pregnancy isn't the unpredictable hormones, or the knowledge that our lives are about to change drastically -- it is the fact that we live so far away from both our families. With two sets of grandparents-to-be halfway across the country and the third all the way across the country, and with all the future aunts and uncles sprinkled throughout, we have not been able to share this pregnancy with them as much as we want to. However, our family members have each had, or will have a chance to see the bulge before the little bundle arrives.

Around 22 weeks my mom and Jim were in town for a conference and were able to visit with us a number of times. It was especially nice timing, because it was around my birthday and we could all celebrate together. Even though it was my birthday, they had gotten 'birthday' gifts for both Ross and Bucky: cute little wash-cloths and baby-sensitive soaps. Their excitement was evident and it was very sweet to know that they were trying not to go overboard on baby items.

What's funny is that when I picked them up from the airport, nothing was really said about my belly. Then when we got together a few days later, my mom said, 'I think you're bigger today.' When the conference was over and I drove Mom and Jim back to the airport, we all hugged good-bye and they made sure to pat Bucky farewell, too. It's very amusing to watch our parents turn into grandparents!

Next it was Ross' parents' turn. They came into town when I was between 25 and 26 weeks. This was their chance to help us get the house ready since they live so far away. Lots of little projects, and bigger ones, were accomplished (I was restricted to the small, light jobs). It was fun to watch Ross and his dad work together. It was so easy to envision Ross helping Bucky twenty-odd years down the road in the same way. Again, it was difficult to send the future grandparents off at the airport. But in having family members visit us, I'm reminded that this little person, not yet here, is already getting so much love from so many relatives. It's a comforting thought.

It's not just grandparents-to-be that have been visiting. Future uncle John spent the weekend with us at the end of week 26. It was a special, spur of the moment treat that he could come down. It was nice to share this experience with my big brother. Having him in town made it really 'hit home' that Ross and I are beginning our own family. Hopefully, our kids will get to have the same type of relationships that we have with each of our siblings.

I suspect that my belly, and the whole experience, kinda blew my brother away. The first time he saw me was in my Halloween outfit, so that was startling in itself, but it didn't really make the pregnant belly stand out. However, the next day I was sitting cross-legged on the couch and John commented that I looked like a little Buddha! It was fun to see his reactions to his little sister being 'with child.'

Our good times sharing the Bucky bulge with family members will continue. My dad and Ann will be here to visit at week 28. We'll see all of Ross' family (including the future uncle Carl and aunt Emily) at Thanksgiving (week 30). We'll also see all of my family (including future aunt Anna) a few weeks later at my cousin's wedding. We shall see where we are for celebrating Christmas, my doctor isn't all that jazzed about our plans to travel that weekend, seeing as it's a little over a month out from the due date, but I'm determined to make it happen. I want to spend time with our families before the baby arrives and they start focusing all their attention on him or her."
--Clare, 11/09/05

Hiccups!

2005-11-13T23:17:00.000-08:00

"Around 26-28 weeks a baby usually begins practicing swallowing and breathing movements and can develop the hiccups. Apparently, Bucky has started practicing. The last two days after I've finished lunch and returned to my desk I've felt this light tap-tap-tap happening where Bucky's head is supposedly positioned. It doesn't feel like the regular kicks or wiggling around. It's only in precisely one location and sort of like a metronome rhythm. Occasionally there is a delay in the repetitions, but overall it's very consistent.

Yesterday, it happened twice! The second time when I had just arrived home from work. I made Ross feel for it and he described it as feeling like a little heart beat. I tell you, this is really cool. If we had a stethoscope, I wonder if we could hear any sound from them? Little chirps maybe?

The funny thing is I don't think Bucky really likes having the hiccups, because when the hiccups happen his or her legs and arms start squirming about as though Bucky's saying, "I don't like this, make it stop."

Sorry, Bucky. If you're anything like your mom these hiccups aren't ever going away."
--Clare, 11/03/05

What did I tell you?

2005-11-13T23:08:00.000-08:00

"This email just came in from one of my mommy-to-be friends, Sarah. I'm telling you the boy trend is really taking off:

'Now I am 22 weeks along... I can't believe it is going so fast... I am now to the point where people can tell I am pregnant, not just fat! It's fun. Justen [father-to-be] is just in awe about the whole thing. We had the sonogram last week and found out we are having a boy! We are really excited, though neither of us had any preference. It is just fun to know what it is and be able to start buying things!'

To date, the official count now stands at: nine pregnant women, five boys (out of a possible 10 babies -- twins). You'll have to wait for the birth for Lisa and Avi's results, as well as for the unveiling of Bucky. Claire and Matt may or may not find out the gender of their twins, and I've yet to hear from the other set of parents-to-be what they plan on doing -- my guess is that they're waiting."
--Clare, 11/04/05

I won the costume contest

2005-11-13T22:35:00.000-08:00

"Halloween is a mixed-bag holiday for me. Sometimes I'm really into it, other times I just want the candy. This is the only time of the year I let myself eat those mini-Milky Way bars, and I just devour them. Maybe that's why Bucky has been so active lately?

This year I wasn't sure how the trick-or-treating would go in our new neighborhood, so I didn't get very excited about Monday night. However, I was excited about the Saturday night before Halloween because our friend Kate was having a costume party and my brother was coming into town for a visit.

I have often used my unique physical features to enhance a Halloween costume. Before I had my tooth-implant surgery I had a false tooth on a retainer. This could easily be removed to create "authentic" improvements to my costumes. My favorite was dressing up as Rocky Balboa!

This year I wanted to come up with something unique for my pregnancy. None of that "paint the belly orange to be a pumpkin" or, ha-ha-ha "dress up like a nun". No. I wanted something original, something different, something comfortable...

Hello, my name is Rodger the Pepsi truck driver."
--Clare, 11/04/05

The beginning of the end

2005-11-01T18:32:00.000-08:00

"Today, November 1, is a momentous day. Not only is it the beginning of my seventh month of pregnancy, it's the last week of my second trimester, and the 90-day mark. Plus, it's time for a picture:

I didn't actually realize I was this big. I mean I feel big. I feel like I Look like one of The Monkeys during their opening credits as they do their swing-leg walk. My walk is no longer feminine -- I waddle. I just didn't know I looked so big, too!

With my growing belly comes aches and heightened sense of irritability... though that might mostly be a result of our dishwasher recently breaking. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it were an old funky green one. However, it's new, the old owner renovated right before she sold to us, and we haven't even used it for seven months! Now that we're spending so much time hand-washing dishes and trying to figure out how to fix the dang machine, I have become the old cliché: barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen!"
--Clare, 11/1/05

Now it's America's Funniest Videos

2005-10-30T19:12:00.000-08:00

"I'm not sure how Ross and I stopped on the show, there must not have been anything else on TV last night, but it was way too funny. I'm not sure if it was actually funny, or if it's because we're expecting a child of our own we're falling prey to this kind of humor. The show had videos of kids doing silly things and a whole section on people falling off of or crashing bikes (which for some reason is always funny).

Again, I laughed so hard I cried. It was ridiculous! I was bawling over someone else's home video bloopers. This time I was laying with my head on Ross' lap so he couldn't see that I was crying at first, that is until the sound of my trying to catch my breath alerted him. He tried very hard not to laugh at me, which was sweet, but given that I was also laughing at myself I gave him permission to do so... I mean, really, this is just ridiculous. But I did sleep pretty well afterwards -- this crying out of the blue stuff is pretty exhausting."
--Clare, 10/24/05

"Things I miss terribly and can't wait to do again:

2005-10-30T19:02:00.000-08:00

1) Eat restricted foods like brie cheese and sushi, and drink as much Dr.
Pepper as I want.

2) Sleep on my stomach, or even on my back. This sleeping on my side thing is really getting to be a pain!

3) See my feet again. They have vanished. I look down and can't see
either one. I know they're there because they ache at the end of the day,
but when I'm standing they hide."
--Clare, 10/22/05

Will the trend continue?

2005-10-30T18:13:00.000-08:00

"Last year, before my pregnancy, all the pregnant women I knew had girls (you've already met Viola). Not one single boy among them. This year, however, things are a little different. First of all, there are ten babies on the way, compared to the four from last year. Of the nine other women I know of who have been pregnant this year, two have already delivered healthy bouncing boys, and two have since learned they are having also having boys (one confirmed name: Grayson). Of the remaining five mommies-to-be, there are six possible boys -- one lucky family is expecting twins!

It's very entertaining hearing from my fellow mommies-to-be and I thought you might like to read some of their remarks, as well:

Joanna: 'Ron and I went for our third ultrasound today and discovered that we are having a boy! He took no time today in revealing his gender. We are still discussing names and such, but will share that info when we decide. We couldn't be any more thrilled to know that he has all of his parts (brain, heart with four chambers...). We are so excited. Ron has not stopped smiling all day, and I have not stopped shopping! We can't wait.'

Claire (expecting twins): 'Got to see the babies yesterday and they are so big! They're moving around and Baby A was kicking poor Baby B so hard that he/she kept pushing his/her brother/sister off the screen!'

Cece: 'We had our second ultrasound on Wednesday, 9/28, so we're happy to announce that we'll be balancing out our family with a baby boy! He's now due on Valentine's Day, and we're all thrilled with the news! I should also say that his name will be Grayson Thomas. Memphis (soon to be a big sister) had the hardest time dealing with this revelation, though she has taken to whispering, "Hi, Baby Gray!" to my stomach. Grayson was sucking his thumb during the ultrasound (soooo cute!) and had his little legs crossed!'

The excitement doesn't stop there. As we hear from Hunter, we have a lot to look forward to in about a year:

'Viola crawled tonight! We had her on the kitchen floor. Beau [their dog] was circling, trying to figure out how to get my mom's attention. So, he went over to his bed, found his bone, then brought it over to Viola. He dropped it in front of her. We thought, "Oh, how nice of Beau to share his toys," but Viola thought, "I want that toy, and I'm going to get it." She promptly positioned herself in crawling position, arms out, legs out, belly up, head up, and she went for it. At first, it was only a couple moves, but as the evening wore on and our cheers increased, she went for the smelly, old, chewed-up dog bone wherever it was. Her daddy will be so proud! The chase begins.'

Since this year is shaping up to be boy-heavy and Ross and I generally feel that Bucky is a boy, we're probably going to be the oddballs and have a girl. I'm totally and completely fine with that. I just hope 'she' doesn't wind up dating all of these boys!"
--Clare, 10/22/05

Acid reflux is no fun

2005-10-30T17:36:00.000-08:00

"Of late, I have had a not so great feeling in my throat. It's not constant, thank goodness, but when present it is not enjoyable. I tried to explain this feeling to people: a slight burning, a feeling that something is lodged in my throat, and an upset stomach. Everyone told me that acid reflux is like heartburn, and you feel it in your upper chest. I've discovered this isn't always true; my doctor said that what I was feeling was in fact acid reflux.

Pregnant women are prone to acid reflux, because during pregnancy a woman's internal organs get pushed upward (or downward) by the growing uterus. This places added pressure on the lungs, stomach, intestines, bladder, etc., and results in occasional shortness of breath, or smaller but more frequent eating, or other not so fun adjustments the body has to cope with.

In the case of the stomach, which is where acid reflux begins, it gets pushed upward, leaving it little space to expand or relax. Because it is smaller, food has to be taken in more frequently (as I mentioned above) but also, the food stays in the stomach longer. This has something to do with how the digestion slows down to get the most nutrients to the baby, and because of the new scrunched location. The last bit of changing the stomach goes through that can cause problems is that the sphincter (laugh all you want) between the stomach and esophagus loosens up, making it easier for food and acid to move back up. All of these changes work together to produce a lovely burning sensation in the esophagus.

When I visited Becky while in Portland for work, she got to see my acid reflux in full force... literally. It wasn't so pretty. And it was actually much more painful than I expected. Luckily, I've learned since then that the solution is simple: Tums!"
--Clare, 10/20/05

"Birds do it, squirrels too. Now I've joined the fun...

2005-10-22T14:02:00.000-07:00

...of nesting, that is. I've started getting our home ready for its new duty of sheltering three of us instead of just two.

I never thought the nesting urge would get to me (just like those hormonal emotions) and yet I now find myself fantasizing about reorganizing closet space, making ornaments for Christmas, building a new laundry station, fixing the bathroom, and getting this house clean! It is crazy, this internal feeling that I MUST get moving to prepare the house. My urge to get everything in order is overwhelming.

It took me a while to recognize the feeling. I didn't think the nesting instinct could start so soon (is 6 months soon? I don't really know), but I'm completely positive that I've now become a typical pregnant woman in this regard. Which to me is odd because I don't think of myself as being typical in anything.

I think Ross is getting a kick out of seeing me this way, but also has become very good at disappearing whenever a "it's got to be done now or it'll never get done" idea hits me. His knack for hiding has probably saved us a fair bit of money, so he's really doing both of us a favor. Nesting in moderation, that's what we're shooting for. And really, Bucky won't know the difference between just a washer and dryer, and a washer and dryer with a folding station, and cabinets, and shelves for detergent, and a hanging bar to dry delicates, and an ironing station, and..."
--Clare, 10/19/05

What happens to fetus poop?

2005-10-22T13:45:00.001-07:00

Clare dug up the information below, in response to a Bucky Blog reader question.

In utero, the fetus is connected to the placenta via the umbilical cord. This cord passes nourishment and blood to the baby, and takes waste away from the baby.

Here's some information from WebMD.com:

"Meconium is the baby's first stools. This is a greenish substance that builds up in the bowels of a growing fetus and is normally discharged shortly after birth. However there is the possibility that this is sometimes passed right before birth or during birth. Meconium in the amniotic fluid may be a sign of fetal distress, and infants that inhale meconium into their lungs can develop a potentially fatal lung disease called meconium aspiration syndrome. But fear not, only about 10% of babies have meconium-stained amniotic fluid, and even fewer develop meconium aspiration syndrome."

Any "waste" that the fetus has before the meconium is taken away by the placenta (as indicated above). But also the baby can swallow amniotic fluid and pass it as urine back into the amniotic fluid. Mind you, this is not really what we think of as urine. It's just a cycling process, getting the baby's body functioning and prepared for working on it's own out in the world.

100 days left

2005-10-22T13:35:00.000-07:00

Today, Clare has exactly 100 days of being pregnant left to go (if she delivers Bucky on the due date).

Bucky's holder flies cross-country

2005-10-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

"John, my father-in-law (versus John, Ross's father- or brother-in-law), has taken to calling me the 'Bucky holder,' which I think is really funny. He also sends us little candies in the mail for no reason. One for Bucky and one for Clare, taped to company letterhead. All the grandparents-to-be have taken to doing fun and thoughtful things like this, I think it's their version of "nesting," and preparing for grandparenthood.

I, the Bucky holder, flew to Portland, Oregon last week for a conference for my job. Lucky for me, I know a number of people who live in or near Portland who I could visit in my downtime. It was quite fun to visit with people who had yet to see me pregnant (in person, at least, which really makes an impact). Also lucky was the fact that the flights to and fro didn't bother me as much as I feared they might.

Blog-master Becky (aka Rebecca) blew me away by flying up to Portland to see me (and her family) since I was going not only be on the same coast, but would be in her hometown. Bucky was so excited that s/he convinced me through a series of morse-coded kicks to wear the BUCKY shirt for a Becky-Bucky photo.

The three of us posed for this in front of The Fireside Cafe in Kalama, Washington.

Kim, another good college friend and former roommate, lives in Portland and is working for a very cool company called HABA. She passed up a hot date to hang out with us, which also blew me away. Bucky must have been just as touched as I was. At dinner s/he kicked hard enough that Kim and Becky could both feel it and see it!

Here we are in Kim's apartment: Kim, Becky, Me, and Bucky (lower right corner).

After a wonderful dinner and amazing gelato, the 3.5 of us were met by yet another college friend, Scotty. He wasn't as eager to feel the kicks, but was still impressed with my being pregnant. It was so nice for me to know that my friends are just as excited for this baby as Ross and I are. I stayed up well past our bedtime for want of spending as much time as possible with those close friends that I don't get to see but maybe once a year.

The next morning Becky drove me to meet up with Pam and John (of grandparent fame). We enjoyed a surprisingly good brunch at the Fireside Cafe in Kalama before Becky officially handed me and Bucky off to the future grandparents. The rest of the day was spent learning about Ross's infancy and what we might be getting into with the birth of our first child. I'm looking forward to it even more; a little Ross wouldn't be so bad."
--Clare, 10/19/05

What's Bucky working on?

2005-10-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

Here is an update from Babycenter.com that tells a little more about what's going on in Clare's womb at this point (generally speaking):

"Head to heels, the baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. The
weight -- a pound and a half -- doesn't sound like much, but is beginning to exchange the long, lean look for some baby fat. The wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and soon will start to look more and more like a newborn. Hair is probably recognizable now (in color and texture), although both may change after birth."

The third ultrasound

2005-10-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

"I recently had my third ultrasound. This one was to make sure that Bucky's little heart's right exit valve was pumping and fully formed.

Everything seemed a-okay with the little four-chamber heart. It oscillated Beautifully -- right, left, right, left -- flow blood, flow! It is so tiny, yet so strong.

Bucky is advancing well. I'm at 25 weeks and Bucky's development measures at a little over 26 weeks! This is starting to concern me a little because my siblings and I all weighed eight pounds or more at birth, and I have since learned that Ross, arriving a few weeks early, weighed over seven pounds.

I am also curious to know if Bucky will arrive early or late -- my family all arrived late, the kid's in my husband's faminly all arrived early. I asked my doctor at this visit and she said that the trigger for when a woman goes into labor is just as much a mystery as, say, the trigger for hiccups.

We didn't receive a great ultrasound photo this time around, but it's comforting to know Bucky is still healthy and growing. We also learned that Bucky is now pointed head down, and probably will stay that way. This seems early to me, but it's good to know that we wont have to deal with a breech-birth (feet first). Our little one is so advanced!

After the ultrasound, I had my regular October check-up. I'm shocked to say that I gained just as much weight in the last month as I did the first five months! I think my inability to avoid sugary treats has something to do with that.... I promise for Bucky's sake to put down the pudding pops (which I just found after years and years of searching) and pick up a carrot stick more often."
--Clare, 10/19/05

Couvade Syndrome (aka sympathetic pregnancy)

2005-10-09T21:25:00.000-07:00

"Many husbands are known to have some sympathy pains during their wives' pregnancies. I've heard of grown men turning into complete babies themselves because they are 'sick' or having 'pains,' and expect their ever-growing wives to forget their own aching feet and sleepless nights to take care of them. There are also fathers-to-be that don't experience the actual aches, but acquire a pregnancy-empathy of sorts. Their new sensitivity results in comfort, compassion, and understanding, rather than whining. Luckily for me, Ross has fallen into the later category.

Ross had his very own pregnancy dream a few nights ago. Ross's dreams are always a little more realistic than mine, though I'm not sure I'd want this one to be our reality.

His dream was that we were in the hospital. I had just delivered our babies. Yes... babies. Ross dreamt I delivered three healthy, and fully naked (unlike the babies I dream about) sons. All boys. Upon seeing all my sons I proclaimed, figuratively, that they were going to eat me alive.

All I can say is that I'm glad Ross had the dream, and that if I ever had triplet boys -- well, I may flip out at first -- but upon seeing them I'm sure I'd be the happiest mother around. (Since I'm not actually ever going to have triplet boys, I can truly believe that. Knock-on-wood)."
--Clare, 10/3/05

Pregnant friends

2005-10-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

"Our good friends Lisa and Avi are also expecting their first child, just 'one month' after we are. I say 'one month' because our due dates are one month apart, but you can never tell who is going to be early, on time, or late in the birthing process. It's been such a comfort to have local friends going through this same adventure. We couldn't have picked a better couple.

In this picture I'm 22 weeks and Lisa is 18 weeks along:

Lisa says she loves that I'm a month ahead of her because she knows what's coming up next. After hearing our kicking stories, they're now excitedly starting to feel movement and kicks, as well! I love that Lisa is a month behind me because then Ross and I get to see another couple going through what we just went through, and it makes the whole thing even more fun. Lisa and Avi also just had their big ultrasound, so we were able to compare that experience. Lucky them -- their technician took a picture of their baby sucking it's thumb! How cute is that?

I think Lisa and I will soon be on the same page with milestones. Apparently after week 20, genetics (i.e. if the baby will have long legs, or a big head, be six pounds or 10) begins to dominate the growing process and there's no telling who's going to experience what first.

Lisa and I see each other about twice a week. We're attempting prenatal yoga -- neither of us has done yoga before -- and swimming at the community pool. While the yoga is providing good stretching techniques and allowing us to see what we'll look like in a few more months (we're considered the 'flat bellies' of the class), I think it's fair to say that we are enjoying the swimming a little more. Mostly because it's 1) free, 2) allows us to feel weightless and light, 3) lets us stretch out while laying on our backs and stomachs, and 4) allows us to talk and laugh all we want.

Every trip has been pretty full of chuckles and good exercise. We amuse ourselves -- I mean just look at us, we have matching swimsuits! We're a vision of loveliness at the pool, swim caps, goggles, and all."
--Clare, 9/24/05

October photo

2005-10-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

"At our last big ultrasound I was at 21 weeks, and had gained a total of eight pounds. Bucky, at that time, was measuring in around 22-plus weeks and almost one pound.

Now it's October. I am at 23 weeks (aka six months) and I'm definitely looking bigger than I did two weeks ago, not to mention a month ago.

This has me thinking... if in five-and-a-half months I've gained eight pounds, Bucky accounting for one of those pounds, and if the average woman gains a total of 20-30 pounds, the average baby accounting for seven to eight of those pounds, what is going to happen to me in the next four-and-a-half months? How much bigger am I going to get?

The rate of weight gain for both of us will be exponential since apparently those 20 to 30 pounds (some doctors say it should be 25 to 35) get distributed as follows:

Baby: seven to eight pounds
Placenta: one to two pounds
Amniotic fluid: two pounds
Breast tissue: one to two pounds
Uterus: two pounds
Extra blood: three to four pounds
Increase in body fluids: three pounds
'Maternal stores' (extra fat to serve as protection for the baby and act as a source of energy for the mother): five to twelve pounds

If you add it all up you can get from 14 to 35 pounds."
--Clare, 10/1/05

Gender report

2005-09-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

"Ross and I did not find out Bucky's gender at our last appointment. Though Ross wants to know, he's being very patient about it.

We had a few moments of fear that the ultrasound technician had slipped up. She kept saying 'he,' but would then say 'the baby,' so I think the 'he' was a result of our saying 'he... or she' and because it's sometimes hard to talk in a non-gendered way -- saying only 'the baby' all the time. We don't think the technician was giving away any secrets. As far as we all know -- it's not definitely a boy.

Nor is it definitely a girl, as we suspected when we saw the organ check list. There was a box for gender, and it had some notes written in it. We feared that the beans had been spilled, but when we asked our doctor at the monthly appointment, she said 'Oh, no. Those are notes about Clare.' The doctor also confirmed that if you ask not to know the gender, the technician doesn't make a note of the gender so the surprise will continue to be a surprise."
--Clare, 9/21/05

Using sound waves to monitor Bucky's progress

2005-09-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

"We finally had our sonogram/ultrasound appointment at the beginning of this week. It was a sight to behold.

The entire process took just over an hour. The radiology technician had a whole list of organs and limbs to check off on her list, so I just laid back and let her work (straining my neck to see the monitor). Lucky Ross got a front row seat for the entire show!

Head, check; body, check; arms, check and check; hands, check, check; Fingers -- yup! Legs, check, check; feet, check, check (and toes!).
Brain -- check! Stomach, check; kidneys, check and check; bladder, check. Spine -- looking good. Heart, check and pumping! It's a baby!

The lead technician wasn't quite satisfied with the picture of the right ventricle exit track (or something like that) so we're going in again on October 18 to see if Bucky will cooperate and let them take a good picture. At this appointment, Bucky decided to flip over and block the valve with his/her spine when they tried to get a second look. Though the heart looks perfect, and he's not worried that anything is wrong, the doctor wants solid verification. We're not worried (nor should you be) and the fact that he wants to double check makes us feel like we're in good hands.

Also, though I was at 21 weeks and one day when the ultrasound took place, developmentally Bucky was at 22 weeks and three or four days! I think we're going to have a big baby.

Some of the best news from the appointment was that I've gained weight! I was so relieved. A wonderful seven pounds I'm on track and should gain the 'right' amount of weight during this pregnancy. Since we now know Bucky is growing strong, and big, I hope all those pounds keep going toward baby and baby-room-and-board, instead of my hips, thighs, etc."
--Clare, 9/21/05

Exclusive first pictures of Bucky

2005-09-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

This may be our most exciting posting, yet! The Bucky Blog has acquired exclusive publishing rights to the first images of Bucky ever to be made public.

By arranging for the release of the images, the expectant mother hopes to put to rest persistant rumors, stating, "These pictures confirm that it's not an-alien-looking thing, but an actual baby!" In response, many fans noted that often babies do resemble "alien-looking-things." Some even believed it to be a part of their appeal. All were agreed that alien-looking or not, Bucky is clearly the cutest fetus around.

Check out pictures from the ultrasound/sonogram appointment that Clare had last week, below. You can also read about what happened at the appointment, or what Clare and Ross found out about Bucky's gender. Don't forget, you saw it here first!

It's pretty easy to see Bucky's profile here. Clare thinks he/she looks like Ross. The big round ball on the right is Bucky's body. You can just make out an arm and hand reaching out right above Bucky's chin. At least, it seems like that's an arm.

In this picture, Bucky is facing you. The big round blob on the right side of the picture is Bucky's belly. You can see Bucky's face on the left side. If you stare at it for awhile you can make out where the nose, eyes, and mouth are growing. The chin is the easiest body part to pick out.

Ross: future Daddy Extraordinaire

2005-09-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

"Though I married Ross for a myriad of reasons, lately I've been congratulating myself on falling for a guy who is going to be an excellent dad. I really have nothing to do with the following proofs of his parenting potential, but I take pride in them none-the-less.

Proof 1:
Our friend Hunter was visiting the city (and her family and friends here) with her seven month old daughter, Viola. Viola has got to be the cutest little blondie with blue eyes I've ever seen. If we didn't like Hunter and her husband, Jeff, so much I think Ross and I would be tempted to keep Viola for our own (it would have saved me all the pain of delivery, that's for sure).

During this visit with Hunter and Viola, Ross couldn't focus on anything else but Vi. He constantly wanted to hold her. He fed her. He burped her. However, he did not volunteer to change her... he's not that daring just yet. Viola had a great time with Ross. She was all smiles the entire time she was with him.

The best part of the day was when we all decided to head to the open air market. Ross timidly asked, 'If you want, I could take Vi in the Baby Bjorn?' It was a casual offer, but there was no questioning that Ross really, really wanted to walk around with Viola strapped to his front.

People couldn't get enough of Ross and Vi. They came up, cooed at her, talked to Ross about her. It made me realize that I'm never letting Ross out of the house with our baby alone -- complete chick magnet!

When Vi's pacifier dropped on the ground, Ross dutifully rinsed it off before letting her suck away on it again. When I pulled out money for our ice cream Ross admonished me for holding it so close to her, 'Get that dirty money away from her, it's covered with germs.'

Viola enjoyed holding on to Ross's fingers with her strong little hands, and floating above the ground securely attached to him. Ross will do just fine if we have a little girl!

Proof 2:
Ross has magical powers. If Bucky is tap dancing away as I'm trying to sleep, as has been the case the last few nights, all I have to do is ask Ross to put his hand on my belly. As sad as it is that he doesn't get to feel the kick-kick-kicks, we don't really mind because Bucky stops, for the whole night. I think Ross's hand must radiate different heat or pressure than mine does, and it puts Bucky right to sleep. Which puts me right to sleep, which lets him get to sleep as well. He's a real family man.

Ross will definitely be the one to put our baby to bed each night. I tell you, he's got magical dad-powers."
--Clare, 9/20/05

Is Bucky a boy?

2005-09-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

"Ross and I have taken to referring to Bucky as a 'he.' I'm not sure how this happened. I remember thinking after we heard the heart beat a second time, and it was 130 beats per minute, 'I guess it's a boy.' I think that's when I joined Ross in referring to Bucky as male. I have no idea if this is in fact true, but somehow it feels correct. I have a strange intuition that Bucky will be a boy (though I was convinced at the start of the pregnancy that Bucky was going to be a girl). Either way, I'm trying to get myself to use both pronouns, in case we end up having a Buckette. I don't want us to be let down if we don't have a Buck, since we're getting really comfortable calling the baby 'he' and 'him.'"
--Clare, 9/12/05

Baby Boden

2005-09-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

Look at this little munchkin'! Really, they don't get much cuter than Baby Boden, Maija and Jeremy's first son.

Dreams are contagious

2005-09-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

"My friend Mary sent me this in an email today. I love it!

'Hey, so I checked out The Bucky Blog the other day and read about your dreams about your impending child -- makes total sense -- but, now I'm having dreams about it, too! No kidding, last night I dreamt that you called me to tell me you had a girl (but you called like literally right after you pushed her out, so you were all tired and breathy), and that you named her Louise Best (Best as the middle name). In my dream I thought that was the best name, EVER. I was already calling her Lou.'

Mary, I love the name. But I don't think that will end up being the winner. What a funny dream!"
--Clare, 9/13/05

Halfway there!

2005-09-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

Today I am at twenty weeks. I am halfway through my pregnancy, though not nearly half the size I'll end up being at forty weeks. There's a site called Babyfit.com that I like to check out. Here is what they have to say about what's going on during this milestone:

'You and the baby have really been growing! By now, you have probably put on 12 pounds plus or minus a few. While much development remains, the rapid growth rate of the baby is going to slow down just a little near this time. To aid in muscle development, the amniotic fluid is supporting the baby's movements. Your baby is quite the little gymnast and is getting busy with twists, turns and forward summersaults!'

I'm hoping I've gained that much weight, but I think by the time I go in for my appointment in a week I'll only have gained about ten pounds. Without a scale in the house it's really hard to gage.

'Other changes that are happening: The baby's eyebrows are now forming; your baby is sleeping and waking much like a newborn at this time; permanent hair is now growing on the scalp, but even this hair will fall out the second week after birth and will be replaced by thicker hair.

Baby's Size this week: About 5.3 to 6 1/2 inches (head to rump)
Weight: Approximately 9 ounces'

I think Bucky is going to be a swimmer, because now I can feel the kicks in two places at once. Practicing that freestyle!

The hormones finally rear their ugly head

2005-09-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

"I'm a late bloomer. I know this, and have accepted it as a fact of my being. I didn't, however, think my tendency to lag behind would impact my pregnancy. Yet, I have only just now fallen prey to Madame Estrogen, "the mother of all pregnancy hormones," source of the irritability and anxiety from which pregnant women are known to suffer. I think I'd add irrationality as another side effect.

Twice this weekend I inexplicably felt slighted and abruptly left the room, completely hurt and confused. Luckily (not so luckily for him) it's only been Ross who has witnessed this somewhat embarrassing new development. We'd be talking, calmly, about nothing important when an innocent comment would come out of Ross's mouth. Suddenly I'd think 'How could he?!!' and leave.

I'm totally serious when I say that the comments Ross made in these scenarios did not warrant my upset reaction.

After each episode, Ross very smartly let me cool down for a little bit before coming to find me to apologize and tell me that he should have known better. To which I'd say that no, it was my fault and that there was no need for me to get upset. He'd hold me and I'd begin to feel less and less imprisoned by those irrational feelings.

'These hormones don't play fair, Clare,' Ross told me. I think he's right on the money."
--Clare, 9/12/05

Even more grandparents-to-be get the big news

2005-09-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

Here's Clare's story of what it was like to tell her own dad the happy news that she's expecting his first grandchild:

"We were able to break the big news to my dad and my brother in person when they passed through Washington DC on their annual summer motorcycle trip.

We had been anxiously looking forward to their arrival for over a week. As soon as John and John (yes, more Johns) arrived we began dinner preparations to feed the hungry travelers. The day had been longer than they expected.

Ross set the table with three wine glasses and while we were all seating ourselves my brother John asked, 'Why aren't you having any wine?'

When asked point blank, and in person, it was harder than I thought to make up an excuse. I could only stammer, 'You'll find out.'

'Do you have some news to share with us?' He grinned.

At that moment, Ross and Dad joined us and I was saved from having to disclose more information. Dinner began.

Sometimes it's tough to find a segue way into a conversation, especially when you really, really want to say something. It took a while, but eventually the talk turned to photography, and I ran to get the ultrasound picture. Presenting it to them, I said, 'I have a picture for you.'

Dad lifted it up and stared at it. 'Really? Does this mean what I think it does?'

'Yup!'

'Oh, this is so great!' There were hugs all around and many congratulations. I think my dad was the most caught off-guard by the news. He had this look of excited amazement on his face for the rest of the visit.

He kept saying, in total disbelief, 'My baby's going to have a baby!'

The next morning I talked with my dad's new wife, Ann, and she was just as giddy with excitement. It's so nice to know that along with my mom and dad, and Ross' mom and dad, both Jim and Ann are also looking forward to being Bucky's grandparents. This child is going to get a lot of love!"
--Clare, 8/5/05

Supersmell

2005-09-10T21:38:00.000-07:00

"One of the fun things being pregnant is my heightened sense of smell (which, depending on the odor, can also be a very, very bad thing). It's wonderful when I walk past my coworker's office and she's just applied her vanilla-tea lotion to her hands -- it smells delicious. It's amazing!

I can pick up on licorice, even when it's still in a sealed package, and I can tell when the fruit in the Un-safeway is getting ripe enough to buy before I even see it. I feel like I have a super power. I only hope it'll dull down a little before those little diapers start getting used."
--Clare, 8/10/05

Baby dream number three

2005-09-10T21:08:00.000-07:00

"I had another baby dream last night. It was very strange.

I dreamt that I 'woke up' to find my baby in bed with me. Now in the dream I was still pregnant with this baby, but it had emerged for a bit. I paused for a second and wondered how it was going to return to complete the nine months, but decided not to think about that and focus on figuring out why my baby was 'outside.'

In a diaper and about the size of a three month-old, my child needed changing. While still in bed, and trying not to wake Ross, I took the diaper off. By doing so, I inadvertently found out that we were having a baby girl (mind you I had not given birth to this baby yet, she just came out to get her diaper changed). I felt like I was in a bit of a pickle, knowing the gender of our baby before Ross -- especially since I am the one who wants to keep the gender a surprise until the delivery (Ross would rather know now).

I was trying to figure out if I was going to share the news with Ross when, upon re-diapering our child, she was actually a he! I got nervous because of all the stories I've heard about baby boys accidentally squirting the person changing their diapers. Low and behold he looked at me with impish eyes and let loose! Though I couldn't block the spray with the diaper, I didn't get hit because I chose that moment to wake up to real life. No baby, no diaper, and I still don't know the gender."
--Clare, 9/8/05

The first kick

2005-09-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

Below is Clare's description of the first time she felt Bucky kicking. It happened about a week ago.

"I felt it. I felt Bucky.

After dinner I was sitting on the couch watching news about Hurricane Katrina, with my hand resting on my belly, and I felt it! It was a little movement that was very subtle, like butterflies, yet noticeable both internally and on the palm of my hand. And then again. And then once more. Then the show was over.

Imagine that you can place your hand on the inside of a blown-up balloon. Now imagine that something very small bumps or rubs the balloon from the outside. I think that's a good comparison to what this feels like. A little flutter, a little pressure (but not painful at all), a little movement, and a little something else all at once.

While it still seems a bit early (I'm just now five months pregnant) I'm guessing in a few weeks Ross will be able to feel Bucky kick, flip, bump, and somersault, as well!

It's gonna be a soccer player!"

Anchorman: a real tear-jerker

2005-09-04T17:20:00.000-07:00

" 'They' say that a pregnant woman is more emotional, more irrational, and more irritable. The increased hormones pregnant women have cause nasty reactions: progesterone brings about those PMS-like feelings including some depression and fatigue; prolactin also promotes mild depression and fatigue; and estrogen, the mother of all pregnancy hormones causes that oh-so-attractive irritability and anxiety from which pregnant women are known to suffer.

I decided I would not fall prey to weepy feelings or outbursts of anger caused by common, day-to-day trivialities. It's true, touching commercials and movie scenes had been making me feel a little more tender hearted than usual, but I would not let myself cry. I knew those feelings were just from the pregnancy, and I could beat them! If I was unhappy with the status of the dishes by the sink, I knew blowing-up wouldn't solve the problem.

'Push, Clare,' I'd tell myself. 'Push those pregnancy-induced-emotional-reactions down and act reasonable.'

And I did, until one seemingly normal Saturday evening a few weeks ago. Ross and I put in the movie Anchorman. We began by watching the out-takes, bloopers, and audition clips included in the special features available on the DVD. We were primed for slap-stick, sophomoric comedy. We chuckled. We laughed. We laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. We laughed so hard that suddenly my ability to suppress was no longer there. We laughed so hard that what came out of me next caused Ross to rush to my side, wrap his arms around me and hold me close.

Sob, sob, sob! The dam had opened and there was absolutely no stopping it. I was crying, full-fledged pregnant-woman crying. I just had to let it happen. Ross just had to stare at me in amazement until I could catch my breath to answer his, "Honey, what's wrong?"

When the flood subsided to a trickle of tears I replied, "That's what I get for fighting it for five months! I told you this would happen," (as if he hadn't believed me). Then we laughed and chalked it up to one of those stories that will live in our family's history. That time Clare, pregnant with our first child, sobbed over Anchorman out-takes."
--Clare, 8/29/05

A picture of Clare (and Bucky)

2005-09-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

Doesn't she look great?! Clare and Ross got a digital camera, so hopefully The Bucky Blog will feature more regular visual updates of their growth.

Congratulations Maija and Jeremy

2005-09-02T12:41:00.000-07:00

"In other baby news, one of my fellow mommy-to-be buddies just delivered a beautiful baby boy. Maija and Jeremy now have little Boden Noble to welcome into the world!

Get this -- the baby was two weeks late, Maija was in labor for a little more than two hours, she didn't have any drugs, and the baby weighed ten pounds! Jeremy said that the entire time he just wanted to make sure Maija and the baby were doing well, but once he heard the little fella and saw his wife was okay, he just let go and cried.

A whole new chapter has begun for this little family -- it's so exciting. My favorite part of the delivery story is that when their baby boy came out, his little hand was on his cheek! How cute it that? It's like he was posing for birth, 'Here I come, aren't I a cutie? Sorry it took me so long.'

I can only hope to have as smooth a delivery as she did, but I might opt out of that weight class if I can! Like I have any choice in it."
--Clare, 9/2/05

It's gonna be a soccer player!

2005-09-02T12:24:00.000-07:00

Clare told me earlier this week that she's been trying to get Ross to be able to feel the baby kick. By the time she actually manages to get his hand on her belly, it seems that Bucky has already quieted down.

Today, she sent me this news:

"This morning I wasn't feeling well (Ross had passed a head cold on to me) and it was my turn to stay on the couch. While Ross was sweetly getting me breakfast, Bucky began moving about. There seemed to be more movement than ever before so I called to Ross to hurry and come feel the belly. A few seconds after he placed his hand on my stomach, his eyes got wide and he started grinning. 'Oh, WOW!' he said, as he looked at me.

He finally felt it! When I asked him what he thought it felt like, he replied, 'Like someone kicking me through your uterus.' Good answer...

After eating breakfast, we were sitting there staring at the bulge and it moved! It was just a little spot -- a quick outward punch. But, we saw it! It's so incredible. Bucky is creating all this entertainment for us and I'm sure the kid doesn't even care.

A new thing is happening, as well. Usually the movements are quick and pinpointed, just kicks or punches, but lately I swear Bucky's entire body sometimes presses against my stomach all at once. It makes my entire belly tight and a little bulgier. It's pretty funny. Next time it happens, I think I'll rub the spot to see if I can get a reaction."

New (slightly bigger) duds for Clare

2005-08-25T15:37:00.000-07:00

"To combat the decline in wearable pants, Ross and I went shopping at some maternity clothing stores. I am not an avid shopper and trying to find clothes that will last through five or more months and 20-35 pounds of belly and hips is a little daunting for me. However, we did manage to find a very cute, and on sale, pair of black (I actually thought they were navy until we got them home, but I still like them) slacks from Gap Maternity.

Besides the finding clothes to fit an expanding body aspect of it all, maternity shopping is pretty neat. All the mannequins have cute mommy-to-be outfits on, that I could conceivably look good in. They're not like the mannequins at Banana Republic or J Crew that don't have natural curves and where I can't even get my hips through the waists of the jeans or dresses -- not to mention my short torso that brings said waists of jeans or dresses three inches from my neck. Ha! Even though they're maternity wear, I feel pretty cute in these new slacks.

Maternity shops also have some of the nicest dressing rooms around. There are little play stations (the kind with blocks, not video games) for the kiddies, light and airy pastel colors and A LOT of room to move around in. Plus, each dressing room has this nifty cushion-like item on a belt hanging there waiting for you. It is a prosthetic belly. It's a riot, but also slightly frightening once you catch sight of yourself in the mirror, clothed and full bellied. I totally scared the poop out of Ross when I stepped out of the dressing room three months MORE pregnant than when I had stepped in."
--Clare, 8/22/05

Oops

2005-08-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

"My prenatal appointment wasn't as thrilling as I had anticipated. I was about four weeks early in my assessment of what supposed to be happening, because:

1) I only gained ONE pound (I'm hoping for the sake of Bucky that that pound is all baby and baby-room-and-board necessities), and

2) I have to schedule the second ultrasound (duh--says so in all the books but did I pay attention?).

I have since scheduled the ultrasound to coincide with my five month appointment in mid-September. By that time I will be at the 20 week mark, HALFWAY! Then I think I'll just view the weeks like the launch of a shuttle: T minus 20 weeks, and counting!!!

Anyhoo, just read the "Time for a check-up" entry again around September 15th..."
--Clare, 8/22/05

Another pregnancy dream

2005-08-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

"I had another dream, though I don't even remember this one.

Last night I woke up to Ross poking me, saying 'Honey, you need to roll onto your side.'

'What? I'm on my side,' I replied, still sleeping (and meaning my side of the bed).

'No, honey. You're on your back. You need to sleep on your side.'

'Oh, thank you.' I mumbled, and rolled over and fell back asleep.

When I mentioned this funny incident to him the next morning, Ross told me that I had actually woken him up first by talking in my sleep. He mimicked me by laying on his back, right arm extended half way, with hand flopped over and saying, 'Oh, no. ALL my children do that!' in a breathy voice.

I'm not sure what they all did or how many there were, but I guess even in my dreams I'm starting to adopt the motherly tendency of defending my children.
--Clare, 8/15/05

Why "Bucky" ??

2005-08-16T16:54:00.000-07:00

"Many of you have wondered how Ross and I came up with 'Bucky' as the temporary name for our baby.

Right after we learned I was pregnant, Ross went on a trip to visit his friend in Chicago and Milwaukee (they went to both locations). This friend of ours is a huge University of Wisconsin fan. Every weekend of College football season he calls us bright and early to ask, 'Are you ready for Badger Mania?!' We haven't ever told him that we, just Ross really, only follow the Huskies and the Irish.

During this trip, our friend told Ross he had to get me some gear from the U of W (the need for the gear wasn't related to Bucky -- he didn't even know I was pregnant -- he just felt that I really needed some badger gear). So, off to the store they went and bought a red long sleeved t-shirt with 'BUCKY' in white block letters across the chest. 'Bucky' turns out to be the name of the badger we hear so much about -- did you happen to know that badgers can run as fast backwards as they run forwards?

Back home, when I opened my gift and held it to my chest, Ross and I just started giggling because it seemed to both of us as though I was wearing a giant name badge -- a name badge for our baby.

It's not that exciting of a story, but we thought it was pretty funny at the time. It's been baby Bucky ever since.
--Clare, 8/5/05

More grandparents-to-be get the big news

2005-08-16T12:43:00.000-07:00

Clare and Ross also want to share the story of telling the Swanes grandparents-to-be about the pregnancy. Apologies for the delay in getting this blog on the site! It's tough to keep up with all the great blog material Clare sends. Anyway, here's how Clare described it:

"We were trying to wait until we saw Ross' parents, Pam and John, in person to tell them about Bucky. We had a trip planned to Gig Harbor (Ross' hometown) to celebrate his grandmother's eightieth birthday and we had planned to tell them then. However, it kept getting harder and harder to answer their repeated 'Anything new going on?' with a dull voice and stories of day-to-day minutia.

By the time the Forth of July arrived (Independence Day is a very important Swanes holiday: not only would the family would celebrate their patriotism by setting a boat ablaze with fireworks, but it had also been Grandpa Swanes' birthday), we decided that we couldn't wait any longer. Plus, what better day to share the news?

Ross made the call:

'Hey, Mom. Clare and I have been looking over the calendar, and well, we might have trouble making it out for the holidays and Emily's graduation, because, well... you're going to be grandparents soon after that!'

As with any good surprise, the appropriate response came immediately:
'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' We heard the sound of pure, spontaneous joy escaping Pam's heart in the form of a high pitched, spirit-lifting squeal. We had caught her completely off guard.

Then Pam told John to get on the phone. He protested that he couldn't as his hands were covered in raw shrimp. A small 'discussion' between Pam and John followed, concluding with hands getting washed. Soon Ross heard his dad's voice, 'Yaa-ello?' (the typical male Swanes phone greeting).

Since the cat was already out of the bag, and I'm sure Pam's glowing face gave away the exciting news, Ross simply told him, 'You're going to be a Grandpa!'

John's reaction made us chuckle, 'Wow! Gosh, this is exciting! Oh, wow! Oh, my!' My personal favorite was, 'Gee wiz!'

Pam and John were, and are, completely excited. It was a great weight off our shoulders to be able to share the news with them, and it was so much fun hear how excited they are about becoming grandparents."

Time for a check-up

2005-08-14T21:11:00.000-07:00

Clare has scheduled her next prenatal doctor's appointment for August 19. She's excited about the check-in for a couple of reasons:

"One of the things I'm really looking forward to at this appointment is the weigh-in. I know it's more like torture for women at a routine physical, but in this case it's a good thing. With my belly expanding so much, I can't wait to see the results. The first few times I've had to weigh-in, I've felt like a bad mother because my weight didn't increase. I'm hoping for a gain of five to ten pounds. From there, it'll keep going up up up -- but hopefully not too far because I don't know if I can deliver an 11 pound baby!

The other thing I'm expecting at this appointment is our second ultrasound. I have mixed feelings about it. Though I want to see how Bucky has grown, I don't want to accidentally find out if Bucky is really a Buck or a Buckette! Ross and I are at odds on this issue, each trying to convince the other. He wants to know the sex in advance and I want to wait until the birth. It's just such a fun secret, not knowing and dreaming about the possibilities. I think I might actually have a hard time if we do find out early. That's just me,though. I'm a little funny like that."
--Clare, 8/5/05

Bucky belly

2005-08-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

"It's happened.

At 15 1/2 weeks, or 108 days, into this pregnancy I can't find anything to wear. Now, most of this is because the clothes that still fit me were held captive by the washing machine this morning. I assumed that it wasn't a problem -- and you know what they say about assuming! I definitely assumed wrong. I tried on skirt after skirt, pant after pant. None would button, snap, zip or buckle over this new belly of mine. I don't know if this is the popping I've heard so much about, but my belly is growing for sure!"
--Clare, 8/11/05

Where was I, again?

2005-08-09T23:27:00.000-07:00

If you've talked to Clare recently, or if you correspond with her via email, you may have noticed slight changes in her communication style. I must admit I have. However, as long as Clare doesn't start doing anything like this, I think we can humor any amount of absentmindedness.

Here are some of Clare's observations of the impacts of pregnancy on the mind:

"Now I don't claim to be the best speller, nor do I always have an unquestionably solid memory of events (even though I like to think I remember things exactly as they happened), but the pregnancy seems to have made both of these abilities worse.

It's not my ability to spell that is suffering, but the hand-eye coordination that is necessary for proper typing. Thus, my words generally end up with mising, aadded, or just completely weronf letters in the mix. I've examined them closely and my fingers are definitely not fatter and there is no water weight gain going on. I can only conclude that it is all the coordination (and possibly my unique approach to spelling) that is at fault. However, it takes me twice as long to type a single sentence as it does to tie my shoes. Apparently the hand-eye coordination necessary for shoe-tying has not been hindered by pregnancy.

As far as my memory is concerned: If I'm in the middle of a story, or even a sentence, please don't interrupt me. I will not know where to pick the conversation back up again, or even what it was about. If asked a question about yesterday, or possibly even earlier in the day, I cannot guarantee that I can answer, let alone figure out what you are asking. I'm a little flighty, a little distracted, and still very tired. Where is all that energy I'm supposed to get with the second trimester?"
--Clare, 8/8/05

The first of many dreams to come

2005-08-09T00:26:00.000-07:00

"This past weekend I had my first baby delivery dream. I guess it's because a close friend of mine is going to deliver a baby boy any day now, and we were talking all about what delivery might be like on Friday.

In the dream I'm alone in my old bed at my mom's house. Ross, for some reason is sleeping in the living room downstairs.

The baby is half-way out, and there is no pain (total dream), I just push and push on my own.

I realize I'm going to need some help soon, so I call for my mom, 'MOOOOOOMMMMMMM!' just like when I needed a glass of water when I was a kid.

She arrives, smoking (which my mother has never done -- seriously).

Out comes the baby -- silent. Mom runs to the bathroom to get a towel to clean up both of us (it's a bit messy, even in this painless dream) and I jostle the baby a little to make sure it's alive.

She (it's a girl) starts to cry, mouth wide open, and full of these metal post-like things for where her teeth are going to be. They're all crooked and spaced badly. Those who really know me, know that teeth are a HUGE thing for me. This is when you might say my dream turns to a nightmare.

I get a little worked up over the metal posts, but gaze lovingly at my little girl. She then takes my mothers cigarette and starts to smoke. This is too much for me and I wake up with a start, a little panicked, but relieved it was only a dream."
--Clare, 8/8/05

Anyone can comment

2005-08-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

I've just altered the settings for The Bucky Blog, so now any reader can comment on a post. My apologies if you were having difficulties commenting previously. Please let us know what you think, if you would like to see certain topics discussed, or if you have questions for Clare, Ross, and Bucky.

Now entering trimester two

2005-08-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

"I am now officially in the second trimester! Unfortunately, I did not pop out of bed this morning and I do not seem to have more energy. I'm still patiently waiting. If I believe hard enough it'll happen, right?

I think part of the problem is that I'm having a hard time sleeping. Yeah, and I'm only beginning my fourth month and not even bulging yet. It's difficult for me to not be able to fall asleep on my stomach (as that's how I've been drifting off to dreamland for the last 20-some-odd years -- I'm learning I probably didn't sleep on my tummy the first year or two of my life, because it's not healthy for babies). I'm trying not to sleep on my back either since "they" say that lying on your back is bad. It hinders the baby's access to oxygen and I'm not too thrilled about depriving Bucky of that main necessity. So on my side I go, with a pillow between my knobby knees.

"They" also suggest the left side is best... Why? I have yet to get a satisfying answer, but when I do I'll let you know.

It takes me quite awhile to fall asleep and there is a lot of switching from side to side, punctuated with huffs and sighs (all of which I'm sure Ross just loves). Then I wake up to head to the bathroom and have to go through it all again before I'm rudely awakened by our alarm. I doubt, no matter how much energy I gain back in this second trimester, that I'll ever pop out of bed!

Bucky is now the size of a computer mouse or small fist, three to four inches and weighing in at a mighty one ounce or so. Go, go, Bucky!

Kids, they just grow so fast..."
--Clare, 8/1/05

It's not all fun and games

2005-07-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

The sad truth about pregnancy, is that it involves a lot of totally gross stuff -- vomiting being at the top of the list. MorningSicknessHelp.com reports that up to 80 percent of women suffer from nausea during their first trimester of pregnancy. Clare's morning sickness seems to be mostly travel-related. Read on:

"This morning was full of projectile OJ all over the sidewalk. Boooo, hiss! I am not fond of this reaction to traveling (and I thought I was in the clear because our return from Seattle didn't lead to any immediate problems). If I'm correct in my predictions of this trend, I will have one more morning of vomiting fun and then things will get back to normal. The interesting thing is that I never throw up my prenatal vitamin, which is great and also strange. At least it was just orange juice this morning, since I hadn't yet gotten to my bagel. Yesterday it was Honeynut Cheerios and blueberries. That was not fun!"
--Clare, 7/27/05

Grandparents-to-be get the big news

2005-07-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

Here's how Clare described telling her mom and Jim, her mom's husband, about Bucky:

"Mom and Jim arrived a few hours after we had landed in Michigan, so we were trying to relax a bit before heading to bed. Their late arrival was because Mom had been waiting for word from Grandmommy's doctors... it turned out everything was just fine.

Talk was winding down and Ross kicked me under the table to let me know he thought we should break the news before everyone went to bed. I ran upstairs to get the ultrasound and, with my heart pounding loud enough to hear, I slid the picture face down across the table to Mom.

'Is this for me?' she asked.

'You'll see,' I told her.

She turned it over and adjusted her eyes to the tiny picture. "Oh!" She chuckled and smiled, and then just beamed. She handed it to Jim to see.

'What is this?' he asked not understanding the blurry arch of white lines and black background. 'Am I supposed to see something?'

'It's an ultrasound, Jim.' Mom encouraged.

'What does it mean?' he asked, confused.

I jumped in with the big news, 'It means you're going to be a grandparent!'

Then we all hugged and Ross and I got talk more in-depth about everything before we all turned in for the night. It was fun! Mom is very excited."

Clare's thoughts on the first ultrasound

2005-07-31T12:39:00.000-07:00

"The coolest thing about the ultrasound, was that we could see the little heart beating. It was so tiny. The background of the whole thing was black and any mass or matter, like my bladder, intestines, and the little baby, were a grayish-white. Bucky was a little bean-shaped mass in a black orb (the uterus). Inside that little bean was a bright white, very small, ring-like thing that would quiver, and that was Bucky's heart beating. It was so electrifying! And it's so strange to think, 'That's inside me? We created that?'"
-- Clare, 6/22/05

Baby basics

2005-07-31T12:25:00.000-07:00

Clare and Ross are expecting their first child. The baby is due in January 2006. So far, the couple has decided to hold off on finding out whether the baby is a girl or a boy. In lieu of a gender-specific pronoun, the baby has been dubbed "Bucky." Clare says we're not allowed to call it that after it's born, though.

Here's a recent shot of Clare and Ross, the excited parents-to-be. Yes, Ross looks thrilled indeed.